My ode to Mr Cricket - Greg Carmody
Friday, 2nd February 2007
Will Rayner's ode to our own "Mr Cricket", his "never-say-never" attitude and his tough exploits representing the mighty PAOCCC
How tough is Greg Carmody...?
When Greg Carmody goes swimming he doesn't get wet, the water gets Greg Carmody.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Greg Carmody.
Greg Carmody counted to infinity - twice.
Greg Carmody invented every colour. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
When Greg Carmody does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Greg Carmody's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Greg Carmody gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Greg Carmody can slam a revolving door.
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Greg Carmody can piss his name Into concrete.
Greg Carmody once visited "The Virgin Islands". They are now "The Islands".
Greg Carmody's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Greg Carmody.
Greg Carmody can speak Braille.
Greg Carmody's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Superman owns a pair of Greg Carmody pyjamas.
Greg Carmody owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
Greg Carmody sleeps with a night light. Not because Greg Carmody is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Greg Carmody.
Greg Carmody doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
Once a cobra bit Greg Carmody's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Greg Carmody divides by zero.
Greg Carmody is always on top during sex because Greg Carmody never f***s up.
When Greg Carmody exercises, the machine gets stronger.
Greg Carmody doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
Greg Carmody can kill two stones with one bird.
Greg Carmody once had an erection while lying face down. He struck oil.
Greg Carmody once devoured a whole wheel-barrow full of clay to prove to a friend that the expression "*****ting bricks" wasn't just a figure of speech.
The only time Greg Carmody was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
When Greg Carmody goes swimming he doesn't get wet, the water gets Greg Carmody.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Greg Carmody.
Greg Carmody counted to infinity - twice.
Greg Carmody invented every colour. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
When Greg Carmody does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Greg Carmody's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Greg Carmody gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Greg Carmody can slam a revolving door.
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Greg Carmody can piss his name Into concrete.
Greg Carmody once visited "The Virgin Islands". They are now "The Islands".
Greg Carmody's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Greg Carmody.
Greg Carmody can speak Braille.
Greg Carmody's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Superman owns a pair of Greg Carmody pyjamas.
Greg Carmody owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
Greg Carmody sleeps with a night light. Not because Greg Carmody is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Greg Carmody.
Greg Carmody doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.
Once a cobra bit Greg Carmody's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Greg Carmody divides by zero.
Greg Carmody is always on top during sex because Greg Carmody never f***s up.
When Greg Carmody exercises, the machine gets stronger.
Greg Carmody doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
Greg Carmody can kill two stones with one bird.
Greg Carmody once had an erection while lying face down. He struck oil.
Greg Carmody once devoured a whole wheel-barrow full of clay to prove to a friend that the expression "*****ting bricks" wasn't just a figure of speech.
The only time Greg Carmody was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.