* Warning - very long email *

Hello all.

As I have now been away for about 6 weeks I think it's high time that I send all my team mates an email and tell you what I have been up to. Before I get into my trip I have an introduction to make - "Little Fats" meet the cricket club.

As some of you may be aware our end of season dinner was the night before Heitmann and was asked to complete a task. The task was to escort "Little Fats" around Europe and to get some good photos of the little guy having a good time wherever he travelled. "Little Fats" is the affectionate name given to the 2005/06 C-Grade bowling trophy which was won by M.Lowe. As Lowey was not present at the dinner he had absolutely no say in the future of "Little Fats" and thus he is now with me.

Before we go into the adventures of "Little Fats" anymore I will tell you all a little bit about my trip. I'll start by saying that the last 6 weeks have been easily been the quickest of my life. I arrived at Heathrow on the 3rd of April after a nightmare flight from Singapore where I was squished between a 120kg man and a 70 year old woman who insisted on telling me her life story even when I was trying to sleep. So arriving at 530am with no sleep under the belt the last thing I needed was Sammy Tyler to get drunk the night before, lose his phone and forget to pick me up as he promised. Unfortunately that is what happened and consequently my holiday wasn't off to a great start. He eventually called me and we got to Ed's place around midday (6 or so hours after I arrived).

For the next week or so Sammy and I were living with Ed (Pom) in his apartment at Eltham College, the school where he is now a PE teacher. As it was school holidays we pretty much had the whole school to ourselves including full use of all facilities and a great balcony where plenty of boozes and smokes were consumed. For the week we mostly partied at the school or in the pubs of Grenwich where I discovered that drinking every night is the key to overcoming jet lag!

So with still two and a bit weeks until my Contiki I pretty much rotated between staying with Ed, in hostels, with a couple of guys from work and most of my time with Sammy T. Like Ed, Sammy is also working at a school and had a 3 bedroom living quarters all to himself (perfect...). More drinking and smoking followed and although Ipswich is a relativey small town, Sammy is very well acquainted with a team of hockey girls who knew how to show us a good time and made it heaps of fun. Whilst in Ipswich, I also managed to squeeze in a couple of games of cricket in for a club called Mistley. Had a day where we played two 20/20 games where I kept all day (look out Kinga) and another one day match where I made 59 and took 2 for 20 off 7. I've been saying for years now that my bowling is under used - remind me to speak to my captain about that. With the standard of cricket on display I am still unsure how we lost the ashes.

CONTIKI

Sheesh - what a massive 20 days. Every night is a sat night and every day is a Sunday - just have to keep backing it up. Jumping on the bus in London and my first impressions of the tour were great with some good looking girls and everybody seemed really friendly. Unfortunately for me most of the girls on tour had boyfriends back home however this didn't detract from the fun that was to be had over the 3 weeks.

Starting in France I was absolutely amazed with what Paris had to offer. Coming into the tour I imagined Paris to be a old dirty city with annoying French people getting angry at everything. The reality was exactly the opposite - the city was beautiful and relatively clean. Got some great shots from the top of the Eiffel and enjoyed standing on the Arc de Triumph watching the madness that is a 10 lane roundabout with no lines marked where the only rule is give way to traffic entering the roundabout. I will never complain about the Brittannia again.

So after a few days in Paris we moved onto the French Riviera (Nice and Monaco). Not sure if any of you have seen this part of the world but it has to be some of the prettiest coastline on the planet. 100m high cliffs speckled with mansions and homes of the rich and famous. I was lucky enough to walk around the Monaco grand prix track as it was being set up for the GP (for the GP buffs out there I have a great photo of the 2nd hairpin - the most famous corner in F1) and was also lucky enough to lose about 130 euro in one of Monaco's casinos. I have an amazing ability to lose blackjack hands when I get 21...

Italy now - unlike France I was expecting big things from this little country however was sadly disappointed. The italians just do things differently - ie. you have to pay to go to the toilets absolutely everywhere and they don't use toilet seats. All customer service people are rude and will rarely give you hello's and goodbyes. Having said that there was still heaps to see especially in rome and venice. Venice is such a unique place and somewhere everybody should get to at some point. After eating plenty of pizza and gelati (Italian pizza is also very overrated) we moved through Austria and stayed a couple of nights in Hoffgarden. Austria is also a very beautiful place with heaps to see and do. The contiki resort was a little out of the city and within the space of 24 hours I managed to go white water rafting and paragliding for the first time - two more boxes checked.

From Austria, went through Germany (Munich) then back to Switzerland which happened to be my favourite destination of the tour. The contiki resort was in the Swiss alps and sat in a valley pretty much surrounded 360 degrees by 300m high snow covered cliffs. With all the snow melting there were waterfalls cascading everywhere - it was definitely a sight to see.

From Switzerland we had a quiet night in the Rhine Valley (Germany) and then to the grand finale - Amsterdam. Amazing place - apart from the red light district and the 'coffee shops' the other amazing thing is the fact that nearly everybody owns and uses a 'granny bike'. You could have a 150kg bouncer and he would ride to work on a granny bike - the ones with the high handle bars and the back pedal brakes. Bikes have right of way over cars in all circumstances and it actually makes the city far less congested and easier to get around in. As they say, when in Rome, do as the Romans do so I thought it would be wrong not to have some of the local produce. The sex show we saw was a laugh and the coffee shops were also an experience. The country is so liberal and despite the fact that everyone is off their head 24/7 we didn't see one act of crime or violence in the two nights we were there.

Well thats the run down of the more sedate part of my holiday, I'll save the more interesting stories for the queens head.

Back to Little Fats now - note that two changes to the original trophy have now been made. Firstly on a boozy night in Grenwich Little Fats was playing with a cigarette lighter and unfortunately burnt his hand. He is now bowling a sultana. Secondly, the little guy is now mounted on a candle.

Well that email was longer than I had planned - I'm off to Barcelona next week then heading to Germany for the World Cup. Good times ahead, see you all soon.

-Puss

Photos from the trip